My inner estate agent

I am currently flat-hunting, and am therefore regularly being lied to in spectacularly inventive fashion. No leap of imagination is too great for the optimistic copywriters: apparently, a flat above an abattoir is "right in the heart of the vibrant bustle of exciting commercial premises", and a knifecrimey stairwell full of urine is now a "charmingly antiquated winding staircase". If the toilet is breathing down the kitchen's neck, the flat has a "cosy, open-plan layout", while a large window ledge is a "small roof terrace", and anything odd or unappealing is always "full of character".


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